Recently, some good friends of ours got the terrible news that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember so well when we got the news. It’s such a blow to your world. So many questions and fears immediately start filling your head. One that seems universal is the question, “what will happen to my hair?” On the eve of is wife shaving her head, my friend emailed me for a quick pep talk to help them through it. Here is what I (a bald man), had to say.
Ahhh, the hair. Yeah, it’s a bit shocking to see at first. You’ll see bumps and scars that you never knew were there. And it’s going to be as bright a white as it can be. It’s not an attractive look on a woman. I look back now at pictures of Aimee when she was bald and am startled. But I don’t remember giving it too much thought back then.
Maybe the key is how you look at it. Loosing the hair is not a sign of sickness, but of health, or at least progress towards health. If your wife ever was “sick”, surly it was when the cancer was in her, before being removed by surgery and drugs. It’s not a sign of something being wrong, but of something being right… The chemo is working! Your wife is taking powerful drugs, and they are doing their job, killing off any fast growing cells that could be cancer. The hair is the collateral damage, but also proof that any cancer cells left are being zapped.
When I see a bald woman now, I don’t see sickness. I see a strong woman that is kicking ass in chemo and doing everything she can for her health, for herself and her family. The baldness is inspiring! It’s a testament to the degree she is willing to fight this miserable disease. It’s a badge of honor. But, in the end it’s also just a little freaky looking from time to time. And when it is, I guess you just remind yourself that its temporary, and try to think of the years and years of normalcy and health you have ahead of you.
Ps. Not sure if Aimee has given your wife this bit of advice, but bald heads get cold. In the winter I wear a hat at night and often when I sleep. Aimee used to make fun of me for it. But then she started stealing my hat and wearing it to bed. If she doesn’t have one already, your wife may need a nice comfy hat to keep here cue ball head warm when it starts getting cold!
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