Dear Diary,
It has been a long time since I have written down my thoughts. October is upon us and it represents Breast Cancer Awareness month and my birthday, two important things in my life. As it comes to almost 4 years since the completion of my chemotherapy and the halfway point to my reconstruction, I am once again looking back on the thoughts, feelings and events that took place.
From the moment of diagnosis I new exactly what I was going to do, the choice that best suited me and only me. I opted for the bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. Why? For ME, I wanted perky boobs, like the ones I had pre-b
reast feeding times. For ME, I wanted them to be symmetrical. And for ME, I wanted them both gone so I wouldn’t be haunted by what could or could not happen. Again it was the best decision for ME. There are many women who have made different choices and I TOTALLY respect them. This is not about what is right for other people.
Some people may disagree with my choice, as a matter of fact I was recently told to remove my implants and that my husband would love me anyway. The truth is, it is my choice. Maybe silicone is not healthy in my body, maybe my husband would love me anyway ( actually I am pretty confident he would) but I want them, I like them and thats that.
That being said, I have seen pictures, online and social media of the women who opted for the mastectomy with no reconstruction or partial reconstruction. As I think they are beautiful for who they are, I want to share my story. I have even been dabbling with showing my boobs.
Again, for ME, when I was diagnosed and given my options, I was scared of what I might look like following the mastectomy. My very cute plastic surgeon, showed me many pictures, some with reconstruction, some with nipples, some without. It scared the crap out of me.
Now, this is were it gets dicey because I do not want to offend anyone in anyway, every woman’s choice is personal and their own but I do want to spread the word. If I were a twenty something woman, dating and living the single life and got blasted with the breast cancer news and then started searching the web to find stories and pictures of women who have opted out of reconstruction, I for sure would have been scared and devastated. I want those woman to see what I see every morning and every evening when I get dressed and undressed. I see perky boobs, lovely hand made nipples, symmetry and beauty. I see me, the same person than before. Maybe even more confident and self assured. I see a my choice turn in to a life of inspiration, passion, bikinis and power to spread the word. I see ME.
So, don’t be surprised if one day you get a glimpse of my boobs on the internet or social media. I am proud of them and proud of the decision I made. I have and always will show them to any woman who has to make a choice. I do not judge, do not give my opinion. I will just give me.
Well, til the next time.
xoxox
Aimee
PS – did you feel your boobs today???
photo by Larry Stanley At http://www.big-sky-weddings.com